Faces by: Stephanie Josiah 2014

Faces
Not just people
But the expressions
That we meet

Places
Not just spaces
Of where we traveled
On the street

The corridors of cyber land
circles of people huddled in
Pages or groups and followers
Live interaction's subtle end

I miss the silent roar of conversation
The buzz of small talk in the air
I miss the human to human face time
Where folks say pull up a chair

It hit us hard
An epidemic called social media
Google plus, facebook and Twitter
And dang that Wikipedia!

We used to congregate for small groups
We used to gather at folks' homes
Now the libraries and meeting places
Are modern day catacombs

There's no connection
For all the WiFi
Not enough computers on the land
To bring back the days of people listening
It flew away with more broadband

A family outing at Outback
They ordered from the waiter, Bill
Then buried their heads in their cellphones
Like family time's against their will

I miss the glory days of story telling
And sitting outside on the stairs
The children yelling, playing, dancing
Folks swaying in rocking chairs

I miss the oldtime toys and train sets
The days before the batteries
Were required, not included
In our children's diaries

I miss looseleaf the pen and paper
The brand new or old hardcover smell
But now we have no time to stop in peace
In our convenient cyber hell!

What does the church of today look like?
Before we read our Bible app
We make sure it doesn't conflict
With any other cyber crap

And we pass the hoards of sorrowed faces
Not even looking and that's fine
Because charity has been made easy
We can give our gift online

I'm not saying burn your laptop
Like any tool, it has its perks
But have we traded in what made us human
And become cyberholic jerks?

Whispers

 By: Stephanie Josiah 2014

Whatever happened to

our responsibility

our overall mission

not impossible, just unfulfilled

 

The corridors we navigate

littered with voices

will they echo forever

when our spirits shed these ears?

 

voices… whispers of other former

earth wanderers reach me

asking about my faith

and why I never shared it?

 

inquiries carried on puffed breezes

wanting to know why I was so loud

about Stephanie and quiet

about Jesus

 

wanting to know why I wasted

precious tick-tocking seconds

of hope-bringing time

to cut side-eye glances at

 

women on street corners, or sagging baggy jeans

or dirty wounded hands holding up signs that

read, “will work for food”

and I missed my chances to share

 

the only bread

I know

that won’t go stale

 

Is that how I worship on Sunday?

Do I swallow in the God-sized drink

of volume, rhythm, hands lifted in swaying

connection Jesus sessions

 

and miss the mark?

In those four walled holy jam sessions

I practiced my connection with God

but forgot His people whispering outside

From Galaxies to Genetics

(c) Stephanie Josiah 2014

I thank you, God, that when you set us on mission we don't go alone! You have been faithful to me all my life. When I wasn't faithful, when I wasn't pursuing, when I wasn't loving, or believing... You kept your hand over my life. You sheltered me from danger. I am alive today, in spite of my enemy... Even in spite of myself because of your goodness.

If you were not good, the whole world would be evil. If you weren't divine, the world would lack inspired thought. If you weren't creative, the world would be cookie cutout copies of monotony. If you weren't a healer and protector I wouldn't be here, my sons wouldn't have made it and my mother would have died ~ten years ago. If you weren't compassionate, the cries of the hurting would go unanswered. There would be no desire for justice in our hearts... No understanding that it is even a divine need. Beetles don't need such systems put in place... Yet you even outdo yourself in the complexity of ecosystems and mechanics. You show up because you are faithful... and show off because you are able to do exceedingly more than our minds could even fathom! You make a way through shut doors, and spring forth leaders from closed wombs, you do it all from galaxies to genetics and aren't too proud to let us think we've "discovered or invented" something.
Rainbows in the skies and swirls of color in creatures' eyes. Dreams, thoughts and visions... Cellular division... Beating hearts and rhythms of the earth all tapping out a ballad to your ears. You are so invested, so interested in us. Tiny as we are... Each hair counted, each pore on our skin known... From head to toe... What don't you know?

The whole earth couldn't contain all the loving thoughts you have for me and all the ways you've jumped to my rescue or lifted me from the ground! I couldn't sing a long enough song or pen a psalm that could capture how you've captured me. I am totally yours, I was yours when you made me. But you didn't force me, you wooed me! You sang me to sleep in your arms.
You are such a good and amazing Father, such a defender and lover of my soul! You even love me enough to not do everything for me. You offer me joy and give me tools to take it... You offer me peace, and gift me with your Word as I study and commit to time in closeness with you, you don't spoon feed me wisdom... You let my bumps and bruises remind me of my limits. You map out a road for me but get tickled when I go in circles because I tuned you out. You hate seeing me on the floor defeated, but you won't always drag me toward victory. You say, "get up, come to me, remember... You and I have been through hardships before... Today I'm not carrying you, today I'm going to show you that my Spirit is in you and you can walk in my Spirit, and you can run and dance in my Spirit... And you can fly over this pit!"

You already know how great you are, but you love it when I see it! You aren't too proud to let me be oblivious of your goodness. You care too much to let me miss you being everything you are.
You can't stop being amazing, you can't stop being loving! How many times did I say I was yours - not realizing just how powerful and transformational being yours is?
And you let me learn more of it every day!
‪#‎JustWow‬!

FRU!T

Fru!t
(c) "Stephy Jay" 2014

Because of DNA
Divine
Natural
Attachment

I catch myself spinning
in 3rd person...
One speck of glitter
On the celestial marble

Aware of how tiny
How bright and noticeable
I am
a golden apple

Dropped from your throne
Fruit of your tree
Connected to your nutritional tissue with every Word

The attachment is profound
With each of us
Both seen and unseen so very real
Woven with fibers of breath and light

I feel it deeper
However painful and unnatural for human tissue
Stretched upward
Still connected

To my fruit
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A Facebook post from FEB. 18TH, 2014

My brain hurts... I just finished the preface and first chapter of "Spiritual Leadership" and it was like seeing everything that ever troubled me in high def. The world is hurting for leaders who love passionately, live in transparency, and act according to the principles they claim to follow. How to better the leadership when the world is already overrun with mega-prosperity-but low spiritual imp...act churches and falsehoods oozing from within the staff/leadership teams... Would best begin by a true acknowledgement of who we are vs. Who God is. If we remove ourselves from the throne and realize we would have nothing if not for God... We would operate out of thankfulness to Him and glorify Him instead of trying to glorify ourselves...

My non-Christian friends aren't fooled, they know we have faults. It is our self-righteousness and masks that disgust them... Not our weaknesses. It is our love of self that prevents our ability to lead or be influential. In our imperfections we can still point upward and say... Follow me because I love you and any good in me and any love you feel from me and see in my actions is from what God has put in my heart.

New leadership begins first by returning to our first truth... God is God and we are not.
Nothing we do will be of any importance to the kingdom until we first master this!

At the click of a button the world can learn what it wants about God... But we are the face He chose and that face hasn't been so lovely, compassionate, welcoming, trustworthy, or been a blessing to others... Is it any wonder why the world is bleeding out for spiritual healing but hates the thought of going to church?

Not all leadership is corrupt... But with all eyes on us (despite the gospel of tolerance being king in the 21st century) we cannot afford to be dishonest! We are supposed to be representing the truth!

Soapbox...step down...

WHAT WILL YOU SAY?

I am a child of God, so I've come to tell you that depression is NOT our inheritance... Hopelessness is NOT our inheritance... Chaos and confusion are NOT your inheritance... Hostility and offense are NOT our inheritance...
JOY is, BELIEF, HOPE, PEACE AND WISDOM... GRACE toward others and ourselves are all our inheritance. The ability to stand up and be counted when someone is hurting... To show compassion, to stand for what is right, to call for correction and the ability to give wise counsel... To encourage... To speak words of life into dead places because He is in us... That is our inheritance.

What will you claim?

This BREAKING FREE study is growing me closer to the truth of who I am. God didn't make me to be junk... So why, in all my anxiety and fear... Depression and doubt... Have I owned titles that were not mine?

What title do you respond to?

If I hear a whisper in the wind that says I am to be called "worthless", "abandoned" or "unloved" haha! I'll laugh...

"You must have the wrong number!" I'll say...

What will you say?

IF I HAVE NOT LOVE...

I read that "If I have not love... I am nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate..." "If I come close to you with my mouth full of praises but I don't care for my neighbor my words and my actions are hollow." (Paraphrases)
I would be a clay soldier... Lifeless, not fit for battle. My emptiness, my incompleteness;the sole goal of my enemy; fulfilled. Redeemed and then bound again...
To find pure an...d righteous love and not LIVE it, is to spit on my inheritance.
Are we sitting on the fence still about what we are called to do?
We are called to love and if our actions don't show love... Who is our king? I am who I am in actions... Not just in words. He says He is "the I Am", (the ultimate example of living it) and all of His titles are backed by action.

He doesn't breathe it if He cannot bleed it.

#FoodForThought
#LiveWhatYouSayYouAre
#ChurchOfActs

Beth Moore... Breaking Free - my study update

Just finished Breaking Free, Week 5, day 3 and all I can say is just, "wow".
Everywhere I turn I keep hearing these words, "He is so faithful." In the study time today, "God is faithful." In unexpected conversations with people, "God is faithful."
And you know why I have needed to hear this over and over? From so many people, places, things, and even my own inner thoughts...

It is because a mothe...r who prays multiple times a day for the healing of her son, for the survival of her son... A woman who believes God for miracles and healing and has seen Him work several in her own lifetime... A woman like that gets attacked with feelings and thoughts like, "Well, God doesn't care huh? Where was he when...? Why did he let that happen to you when you love him so much? How could you possibly think he is still good and loving? Wouldn't a loving God move heaven and earth to heal your son?" A worldful of hurt and a headful of crappy, attacking thoughts. And I now have the tool to shut my adversary up.

My God is so faithful! To answer his questions: God cares for me (I know because He has scraped me up off the concrete every time an abuser stomped me down, protected me when I didn't even care to protect myself. Walked with me one night through a group of men that were taunting me; promising me a good time... Not one hair on my head harmed!) He is ALWAYS with me. He has allowed things to happen to me, but He didn't design those things. But countless times He stood around me and shielded me from so much worse! He is good and loving, even when I wasn't good and loving to Him. And my son is 100% healed... He would have been healed sooner but God gave him strength and joy to enjoy time here with us. Do you have the power to do that? You only destroy what He creates, taunt what He uplifts, warp what He establishes, and hate what He loves. I'm living proof that God is faithful. My whole life, a testimony to that. It is you who have not been for me... It is you who hates me... All my faults you hurl at me but you forget one thing... I've already been forgiven... And you and all you are about... Will soon be forgotten!

A.to.the.men!


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  PS~

 I've seen a lot of Christians fussing on FaceBook about how sad they are... How depressed they are... How lonely and messed up they are.
The truth is cool, I would never knock honesty. But I don't see many days of hope and joy being shown... if God is with you and you are lonely... Maybe speak with Him? Surround yourself with good company. If God is healer and restorer... Why not let Him get into the messiness and emptiness? What would you stand to lose if you woke up, opened the curtains and let in the light? Folks, I understand pain... I'm pressing toward thirty years old but have lived a hundred years or more in heartbreaking experiences... And I still refuse to curl up in a ball - now why is that?
Because God is faithful. When we believe it fully and believe Him fully... Our lives can't help but shine.

We were made to show the glory of God. If He is in us, but our lives are dark and hopeless... We should double-check on who is really in us. Don't claim anything that isn't His will for your life... Joy, peace, understanding, light, hope, grace, forgiveness...

I'm just saying, why would anyone want the God you have... If you won't even believe Him for daily joy. Unhappy Christianity... Yep, very attractive to the masses. Also, I'm pretty sure that's oxymoronic

My Territory

My Territory
By: Stephanie Josiah (c) 2014

I'm not renting space
This time and place was given
My territory, my responsibility
To develop and protect

I'm stretching my fingers and toes
To the four corners...
I will know the soil - capture the grit under my nails
Cultivate the grounds

Put down deep roots, dig wells
The generations after
Will dance among my olives and oaks
Swing on thick branches

Lace their shoes in swaying shade
And drink in the freckled sunlight
Their place in time made easier
because when fear would have made me move

I reached my hands up in the air
Planted my feet
Deep into the ground and
Made like a tree
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*you see, I can't afford to make believe when I say I am a child of God. I can't raise my hands and cry out and put in zero work... Build zero relationship. I will not teach my children the tame, man-made religion of religion for religious sake... Weighed down by rules He'd never stand for. Naivety as peace... Country clubbing as kingdom building... Fear as submission to confusion and chaos. I will not teach my children to silence the outcast or afflicted... To shame them or accuse them of bitterness when they have been abused or held captive.

I will teach my children about abundant life, spiritual borders... With no physical limitations. They will not sit because dancing is being too odd for God. They will not follow blindly. I'm claiming for them the lives they were meant to have here. They will be free indeed or I'll die trying. They will love harder than me, stand up for truth and justice stronger than me, speak more words straight from God's heart than I could even fathom... Because I won't make it difficult for them to believe in who they were made to be. I will not doubt their giftings, control how the Holy Spirit leads them or uses them... I will cherish their differences... Lift up their weaknesses and press behind them to step forward when shame or fear would make them retreat.

I will build them up because kingdom building is not about a building. It is about the people... It is about calling out people to freedom in Christ and holding those who dare claim leadership accountable for the sake of their own skin. To look in the mirror every day and say, "what can I do?" Before I send another person to the front lines?.. To look in my own backyard and feed the unfed before I brag of feeding nations I've never visited...

What am I doing as a mother of God's beloved children and a daughter of the King if love and liberty are not first falling words from my lips?

And I'm by no means bragging. I'll have to shake off my own dark thoughts, shame, and physical afflictions every day before I can even step into the first few hours of the day. I'll have to ask God to keep me in check because I am so passionate that words can cut without self-healing. I'll have to ignore every untrue word others will say of me because I make them uncomfortable and find satisfaction in God for friendship and light in dark and lonely seasons... But I will still stand. I will still instruct. I will still encourage you to live free. Because God is in me and "Greater is He that is in me..."

step up and claim your inheritance!

Rejection's Reflection

(c) Stephanie Josiah 2014

 

When I buy into the lie that my name is "rejected"... I join forces with my adversary. He and an angry version of myself stand together through a fake reflection; haunting... taunting me with words like "I am alone"... "I am unloved"... "I am unwanted"... "I can never be good enough or amount to anything"... "people don't get me"...
Oddly enough, there are times when the false mirror is clearer t...han what I should know in my own heart and mind. I've had countless times when, even though I can't see God, I could feel His arms wrapped around me... I could hear His clear thoughts about me... I could see His amazing wonders and miracles in puffs of air pressed out in the grunts of my Ishypoo and in the daily hilariousness of my children, family, and friends.
So why?!!!

Why is it that there have been and are times when I couldn't be more convinced that the devilish image is true... I'm all alone? Even picked on by my own self!? A reflection of truth??? LOL on the other side of that crappy excuse for a reflection of who I am... is a woman standing almost six feet tall, with God's arms around her... with His light in her heart... with friends and family who love her more deeply than all the words and all their worth!

How amazing God is, that He doesn't slap me upside my face or shake me back into reality. He just whispers, "You are mine... you are loved... you are not alone, not EVER!... you were planned... you are accepted... you are adopted... you are my child... you are beautiful... you are wanted... you are cherished... you are a blessing to me... you matter more than you could ever understand... and I'm God... but I mean, hey... that's just what lil' ol' me thinks. Just YahWeh here... just checking in with my ol' two cents. But I mean hey... believe that stupid mirror that you know is a lie... I'll still be here, counting your tears and singing over you..."

I can be my own best bully. Evil-fake-Steph, glaring through the glass that others held up; believing a clear enemy... believing all the lies you were ever told... from now on... I'll just let God and His words hold up my reflection, thank you very much