FaceBook Post 10/21/2013

Worship and lifegroup yesterday were amazing and my talk with Mom was awesome! When your hands tremble, clam up, and your spirit wants to bounce all over the room... You know you've tapped into something. When all the people in the lifegroup hug on each other and take time to just appreciate who they each are in the kingdom, you know you've tapped into something. When you can feel another

person wiggling from afar, like two kids under the same blanket, through a phone and can giggle about the mission that is to come... Woo! You've tapped into something. I am excited to know that we are part of something / someone huge... Want to know who that is? Lean in close...

God is so real I couldn't lie to you if I wanted to. And if I didn't tell you, someone else would. And you will feel that tugging in your heart... That's not heartburn. If you let Him, He will blow your mind!

If I didn't tell you, I'd be the most selfish person ever. Think about it. What do I have to gain personally if you believe? This is free information. This is a free referral. You see, I have a doctor who paid the price to heal me. I have a savior who took my place to free me. I have a Father who created me because He giggled with delight at the very thought of who I would be. And I have a hope that doesn't get locked up in the grave when loved ones fought for are lost. (Ishypoo ♥) All this I have and freely share because I want YOU to be blessed.

You may doubt the Bible stories... You may be logical.
I have statistics for you. In all the people in the world, God chose for me to know YOU. In all the centuries of the world, God put you here and now. To hear from people like me... Who don't know everything, but know exactly who rules everything. To hear about two boys who beat the odds... To hear about lives transformed from depression (where in losing Ishypoo, despite him surviving three years, I should be broken) to lives of being strengthened by God!

Let my life story sink into your pores... Because my story and the story of others who know God on a personal level... We have nothing to hide but everything to freely give!

I am not perfect, I never will be, but I pray that anything good you see in my life will be an arrow pointing to Him. And the losses you think I've suffered... My hope being secure and strong will encourage you to believe that even death is no match for Him!

That is all for now

 

<3  Steph

One year since our 3yr. old son's passing...

(c) Stephanie Josiah

Tomorrow is Ishypoo's second birthday (Heaven Birthday)... Join us in celebrating the time we got to spend with him and the new amazing life he now has... By loving someone that it is difficult to love... By reaching out to a stranger in need... And if you have something red to rock... Rock red ... Even if it is just one sock to remind you of a three year old boy who (to this world may have seemed...

broken) but his love, his heart worked better than any of ours.
Be love!

Ishy, my son... Don't know where to begin on how I feel about your absence. A year tomorrow already?

Fine. Let me address the issue of missing you, first and foremost with praise. Abba Father, thank you for the life of our son... Thank you for keeping your promise to give us time together. Thank you for your mercies everyday... In every giggle, smile, and gooey kiss... You made my heart over with just being in the presence of our Ishy... You didn't have to, but you did... You didn't have to give us a day... You gave us three years. I could be mad that he's gone... Or I could feel defeated... BUT because I know whose child I am... Because I know where my son is... Oh, He's in my Father's house!! He's in my father's house!!!!!!!!

I know where to find him when it's my turn to go and I will watch him run to me and hold him close and breathe his curly hair in again.

Why do I have this joy even as I mourn? Because God is good!
Don't you know He is so good?
Look at me, I should be broken... I should be defeated... I should feel hopeless... The government shut down... But my joy is not... My son's body shut down, but his soul did not... Woo!

Praise God.
Now back to you, Ishy... XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Times forever! We love and miss you but you aren't far away. You're right here Tomorrow we might cry a whole lot more than usual, but I can't stress to you enough that I am happy that you are safe and happy and healed!

PRAISING GOD!

(c) Stephanie Josiah 2013

 

Praising God for a full last week and weekend. Kickin it with women of all walks...
I even spoke with a clerk at Model's (Sporting Goods) about her back to back family losses (an aunt and a grand parent) and I told her that sometimes the roughest stuff comes in constant waves... But hold on! Your ship isn't going to sink... Stay strong.

I know it was a message for her, but as I opened my mouth I ...delivered a message to myself too.
God has been so good to me. When I'm sad about losing Ishypoo and I want to crumble... He reminds me that my ship won't sink. He is with me. He is for me. Everything that happens to me in this life will become part of an amazing journey story.

But not a story of searching for a holy artifact, or a story of battling to claim a holy land... A story of how a Holy God makes Himself readily available to us... The Father protects, the Son saves and walks beside us, and the Spirit locks Himself up under our flesh and bone and guides us. Such an intimacy!!!.. Such a reminder that even when I am in the depths of my despair You are there God. The Bible says, "Even if I go to the ends of the earth or hide in the deepest caverns or sink into the deepest of seas... You hear my cry for help. You know me by name!! You call me your own." I couldn't understand why or how you love me if I had ten thousand lifetimes to study Your heart. You are unreasonable in your patience... No timer set... No forcing... You are unrelenting in Your pursuit - arms wide open for us... You are holy but unafraid of getting messy as You do life with us. You are powerful enough to not need us to share who you are, but you prefer the friends' referral program.
Point to us, Lord, and tell them if they want to know who You are, "ask one of those Josiahs, those Greens, those Durhams... Etc.* enter your family name here*"
We will praise you, we won't let the rocks cry out in our place. We know you still save! (Look at our twins, our lives, our stories) We know you give us miracles! (Look at the three years and three months of borrowed time we had with our Ishypoo) We know you are still relevant...

We know You!

Thank you for being in relationship with us!

Amen!!!! Amen!

WE NEED THE CHURCH RIGHT NOW!

We really need the Church to be the church right NOW.
I think about how many people out there lose hope because the govt shut down, financial situations are tight, family loss, domestic violence situations and bullies at school.
And the world cries out.
A pin pricks the infection
With another school shooting...
Mass murder
Bombing etc
A pin pops this boil earth and
Puss and blood are everywhere
And I wonder what it's going to take...
What is it going to take for the Church to step up and shine some light here in America?
Instead of attacking with political agendas and strategizing to gain more members...
What could we stand to lose if we focused on being loving again?
Not "here's a hug - see you next week" loving.... But "how can I bless your life - even if it gets messy or inconvenient for me" loving!
The mobilization of people bringing love to others, hope, and comfort to others... The radical message of hope that they are loved whether they be democratic, republican, other..., gay, bi, transgendered, innercity or rural region!
We are ALL hurting! What will it take?
Some of us are okay with begging Jesus to come back now "gots me my ticket Lord, so come now!"

Well I dare to say that you bought a scalper's ticket... Good for nothing... Scribbled on rice paper. Because if you can't be love, can't bring blessing and hope, can't inconvenience yourself... Then you wear the shirt but you are not a member... You watch the game but you aren't on the team... You have an idea but you don't have a way of life!
Be a church or be a country club.

We need the Church to come back here so desperately. "what's any of the mess on tv got to do with the church, Stephanie?" Exactly my point. More bad news than good - but I thought we had good news for all people? I thought we had hope and light and love to share with people? The community is a mirror image of the faith that WE have!
Let me say that again... The community is a MIRROR IMAGE of the faith that WE have.

If we believe that Jesus is our protector and provider... Why are so many so hopeless?

We got work to do!

(c) Stephanie Josiah 10/3/2013

Reflecting on Sunday's Message

~* Reflecting on Sunday's Message *~

August 5, 2013 at 10:52am

 

We need to get our hands dirty.
Sitting on the sidelines picking flowers is not what God had in mind when He told us that the Church has a mission to reach out to the lost.
So far, I've seen servefests and rallies, ice cream socials, backpack giveaways and other awesome ways to minister to the communities... But where is the relationship? This Sunday I was reminded that the early church was most effective because of the relationships it built with others.

Wow! Imagine if the church today got radical and actually became friendly... (brain explodes)
Imagine if we lingered outside a little longer, when coming home from work, to greet a neighbor...
What would the world be like if we loved others like Christ does from Sunday to the next and not just on special holidays where cheer and brotherhood are encouraged?

I like how Pastor Chris McMillan said that *"we rarely see the power of the Holy Spirit at work in the church (western world) because we aren't doing anything that requires it. Our most dangerous moments are sipping coffee from a cup without a sleeve."*

Our hardest decisions are like "Hmmm should we get the tan carpet or the honey beige for the atrium?"

When there are real churches on mission with people ready to give their lives to help another person, to be a light in this world and spare no expense.

Someone is actually holding, ministering to and loving on the orphan, the widow, the beggar, and the prisoner that we occasionally pray for every time one of those starving child commercials comes on.

In our neighborhood there is a woman or man with a sign up, begging for food and we snub our noses at her/him. "Get a job you lazy bum!"

Then go to church, a missionary visits and shows slides of starving families halfway around the world and we cry... Feel deep inner skin tinglies... Put five dollars in the "missions offering tray" and think we are off the hook.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son. As a sacrifice. Flesh torn, bruised, bludgeoned, scared and bloodied... Skin shredded beyond unrecognizable, body dragged through dirt and filth... So we could play church and sit on the side with clean hands and feet... Not even a speck of someone else's messy life on our righteous robes.

Sure, we'll convince Him. Fine Sunday best clothes on... We'll convince Him we are His.
But will we REALLY convince Him?

We All Fall Short

Just like the alcoholic who has been sober for a day says, "I don't have a drinking problem"... The Christian stops sinning (perhaps in one or two "major" ways - though one little sin is all it takes) and points at the sinner and says, "glad I'm not in that mess anymore". Meanwhile the sinner comes to his / her senses, stops eating the pig scraps and heads home...
While the Christian slips on a pi...le of pig crap and finds his or herself eating from the pig scraps again.
Circle of life

#selectivememory
#weallfallshort
#stopjudgingothers
#youveeatenpigsloptoo
#JesusFriendOfSinners
#armsAreOpenWide

Sorry for party hashtags (rockin)

(c) Stephy J.

Waiting

I'm not waiting because I want to... Who does? I'm waiting because if I jump off the "Ark" now, where am I going to go? When God makes a way for me... I'll be heading out. But until then, why tread the water, exhaust myself and drown... When I can sit on a cramped ark, for a season, and then live life abundantly when the doors are opened?

As my husband always says, "Hurry up and wait".

There is a plan unfolding and provisions being formed while we are waiting. There is protection and blessing while we are waiting.
We always want to finish or arrive, but in all honesty... We are always waiting, for SOME THING, so we might as well excel at it.

(c) Stephanie Josiah 9/26/2013

Moving Forward

Forward movement works best when looking forward. Your past does not define you. It says where you've been, not who you are.

Like moving something huge on logs, pick up the freshly used/uncovered logs and place them down in front of you to have more "track" ... repeat... again and again... Your past is just stuff you've been through - old track - now tools to move FORWARD.

So who is ruling your movement, where you've been...? Or where you want to be?

I want to be in the future God has prepared for me... Old tracks? Cool, I'm putting them down in front of me and rolling on!

Stephanie Josiah

My name is _______________

My name is Stephanie Josiah and I was thought of before the creation of the world... God chuckled at the thought of who I'd be... The ups and downs... The sick humor and mood swings... He thought of me before the first cells divided in my mother's womb... Guarded me from infection, cradled me in warmth and held me in place... He thought of me before I opened my first birthday present... He planned... how many birthdays I'd have and all the life lessons I would learn... He sent me my husband... Created him to catch my eye and shaped his heart to attract my curiosity... Designed our children... Gave us an angel to share precious time with... Created him to be one of our greatest teachers...
He sings over and giggles with our family. He knew us before we knew ourselves... Every moment - ever present... He delights in our existence and wants to be in relationship with us.

We are blessed to know him as Planner, Creator, Protector, Healer, Gifter, Father, and Friend.

We are blessed! Of all the people we could have been... He enjoyed the idea of us being exactly who we are!

Are you feeling loved, protected, planned for, thought of, and blessed?

Stephanie Josiah 9/15/2013

TTTS Support Group Post

My post on a support page for other parents who faced or are facing struggle/loss:

"You all are not alone. We lost our three year old son due to complications from ttts this past October.

I struggle sometimes because I feel like I've been cheated. But I want you to know that if you struggle there too... You are not cheated. You have been chosen. Loss doesn't happen because we didn't try hard eno...ugh or because we didn't love deep enough. Ttts is a wicked thing, but our stories all speak to the best of humanity. Hope, longsuffering, struggle, and perseverance. We have a story to tell. If you lost one or both, you have been chosen to carry those names and the story of your struggle... It is heavy. Like a weight in your heart that is invisible to others... Always present, sometimes less painful, but always real.
We carry the story that these little ones were or are here!

My sons survived but one still died three years later from seizures, cerebral palsy, and microcephaly... I think sometimes I've been so cheated. Heck, I'm as good a mom as any great mom... But no, I'm chosen and blessed. Blessed to have lived in a time where I held a broken angel in my arms but couldn't find one flaw. Blessed to be a student of his life lessons / his 3yr. ministry. I am forever changed.

And guess what, he isn't broken anymore

Confessing Culture in Church

Creating a confessing culture in the church instead of a masquerade:

Okay, starting with me...
I cuss like a sailor sometimes because it makes me laugh, helps me vent, or emphasizes a point (something I hide during church hours, around kids, the elderly, or most humans)

I admit I have a bit of an anger managment issue. The thought of slapping people soothes me on tough days (I suppose that isn't... really loving my neighbor completely heh?)

I say I hate lying and that I honor honesty above all other traits, but I can lie better than the best of them. (only when necessary... Uh huh... Still a sin)

I haven't "arrived", found "enlightenment", or "achieved spiritual grandeur"... Oh that's right, because such a thing is impossible for me because even when I'm not planning to sin - I do.

I'm afraid of large groups of people when I am the only female, black person, tall person, shapely person, light skinned person, or unfiltered person...

I hate certain people (oopsy)...

I prefer to NOT witness to scary men on the street (eek)...

I enjoy pulling pranks... I used to crank call the offices at my old church (aheh)

And I threw my husband to a dancing cougar just this past weekend and was rebuked by a classroom of older couples at our strong bonds retreat and I'm STILL happy I did it!!! (For the memories and blackmail pics)

I sinned at least once today... I said some choice words when I saw a puppet that costs $42.00 and encouraged a fellow shopper into being disgruntled about the prices...

I'll probably sin tomorrow too. I'm not scared about it either... Since that seems to be in my nature...

But, despite all of this... God made me because He wanted me here. I live and breathe and it delights Him. My every mistake is transparent to Him and He loves me anyway and He wants me to tell you that no matter how unlovable you think you are... No matter how horrible you think you've been... He loves you, He wants a friendship with you... Jesus was called "friend of sinners" by pharisees (as an insult) LOL well then I want to be a sinner, NOT a pharisee! I'm happy to know Jesus would rather be caught sitting at lunch with my family (burping and saying nasty stuff about darts and poop and butts)... Than sit next to some holy holies in a church building (faking perfection) Let's make the Church human again!

Let's stop faking it... We all have issues. But the one that hurts us most is not believing that we STILL were worth dying for (even with all the junk)!!!

Stephanie Josiah 9/12/2013

9/11 Facebook Status

Never forgotten are the
families of the fallen on 9/11
Never forgotten are the first
responders who swapped fates

Men and women in uniforms,
Business suits, and jumpers...
Risking all to help someone inside
Or outside of wickedly warped metal
...
Blinded in dust clouds and smoke
Scratching around reaching
Searching for stranger, friend, or foe
In human chaos

These survivors, these heroes, and the ones taken from us...
All swirling around in the confusion with one thing in mind

Their kids, their wives or husbands...
Their families, estranged or not...
The last words they should have said... And the struggle to make it back if only just to say

I love you.
The fear and anger that must've been
Competing for their mind's focus
But they conquered giant towers...

Greatest fears and prejudices
To put others before self
And we honor their memory
We honor their efforts

Because the hardest daily decision most of us have to make
Is "red or blue tile?" or
"should I forgive this person?"

"One pump of vanilla today or hazelnut?"
I hear their voices ringing clearly
"we only do this thing called life here ONCE... Don't waste the gift, don't hate your enemy, don't fear what could happen... LIVE WELL! LOVE WELL! And bless someone everyday"

Hours before 9/11...
Their daily decisions were no harder than most of ours.

What hero, what greatness is sitting deep inside of us -
That could use a little
Basic training?


(c) Stephanie Josiah 9/11/2013

poem

A poem I posted on Facebook the other day...

But‬ You See Three
By: Stephanie Josiah
8/3/2013 @ 11:35pm

Social anxiety takes on
New meaning
Three children swinging
From my arms but

Strangers
... Always ask

How many...

"How many children do you have?"

Instantly the walls tumble
Like drying linen
The fresh flesh wound about
My breast uncovered

Spotlights glare down on
broken sternum and
Busted arteries
Every hero has a weakness

The cape on my back
Now a flag of surrender
I am no champion
I lost my gooey-cheeked toddler

How do I start to explain
When I answer "four"
But you see
Three?