(c) Stephanie Josiah 2014
When I buy into the lie that my name is "rejected"... I join forces with my adversary. He and an angry version of myself stand together through a fake reflection; haunting... taunting me with words like "I am alone"... "I am unloved"... "I am unwanted"... "I can never be good enough or amount to anything"... "people don't get me"...
Oddly enough, there are times when the false mirror is clearer t...han what I should know in my own heart and mind. I've had countless times when, even though I can't see God, I could feel His arms wrapped around me... I could hear His clear thoughts about me... I could see His amazing wonders and miracles in puffs of air pressed out in the grunts of my Ishypoo and in the daily hilariousness of my children, family, and friends.
So why?!!!
Why is it that there have been and are times when I couldn't be more convinced that the devilish image is true... I'm all alone? Even picked on by my own self!? A reflection of truth??? LOL on the other side of that crappy excuse for a reflection of who I am... is a woman standing almost six feet tall, with God's arms around her... with His light in her heart... with friends and family who love her more deeply than all the words and all their worth!
How amazing God is, that He doesn't slap me upside my face or shake me back into reality. He just whispers, "You are mine... you are loved... you are not alone, not EVER!... you were planned... you are accepted... you are adopted... you are my child... you are beautiful... you are wanted... you are cherished... you are a blessing to me... you matter more than you could ever understand... and I'm God... but I mean, hey... that's just what lil' ol' me thinks. Just YahWeh here... just checking in with my ol' two cents. But I mean hey... believe that stupid mirror that you know is a lie... I'll still be here, counting your tears and singing over you..."
I can be my own best bully. Evil-fake-Steph, glaring through the glass that others held up; believing a clear enemy... believing all the lies you were ever told... from now on... I'll just let God and His words hold up my reflection, thank you very much
Oddly enough, there are times when the false mirror is clearer t...han what I should know in my own heart and mind. I've had countless times when, even though I can't see God, I could feel His arms wrapped around me... I could hear His clear thoughts about me... I could see His amazing wonders and miracles in puffs of air pressed out in the grunts of my Ishypoo and in the daily hilariousness of my children, family, and friends.
So why?!!!
Why is it that there have been and are times when I couldn't be more convinced that the devilish image is true... I'm all alone? Even picked on by my own self!? A reflection of truth??? LOL on the other side of that crappy excuse for a reflection of who I am... is a woman standing almost six feet tall, with God's arms around her... with His light in her heart... with friends and family who love her more deeply than all the words and all their worth!
How amazing God is, that He doesn't slap me upside my face or shake me back into reality. He just whispers, "You are mine... you are loved... you are not alone, not EVER!... you were planned... you are accepted... you are adopted... you are my child... you are beautiful... you are wanted... you are cherished... you are a blessing to me... you matter more than you could ever understand... and I'm God... but I mean, hey... that's just what lil' ol' me thinks. Just YahWeh here... just checking in with my ol' two cents. But I mean hey... believe that stupid mirror that you know is a lie... I'll still be here, counting your tears and singing over you..."
I can be my own best bully. Evil-fake-Steph, glaring through the glass that others held up; believing a clear enemy... believing all the lies you were ever told... from now on... I'll just let God and His words hold up my reflection, thank you very much
